Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
