My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
