you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
