How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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