I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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