You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
