I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
