dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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