Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
