how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
