That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
