and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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