You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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