i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
