Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
