can we get nightvision for the apartment?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
