k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The air taste purple.
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