Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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