She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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