Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
