Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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