you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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