After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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