Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize