so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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