Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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