a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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