I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
