I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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