She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
