this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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