We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
