We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Less talking, more tequila
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
