if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
