how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
