Whod you bang
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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