I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
