Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
