Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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