I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
