walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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