i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i now understand why vodka
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
