But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sarcasm needs its own font
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
