I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
