More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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