I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
