Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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