Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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