Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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