So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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